Q: Can you describe biologically what makes some people prone to anger than others?
A: First of all, anger is a primal intense emotion. Think about what it does to your body? Let’s say you find out that someone betrayed you. You naturally feel angry. Biologically, your amygdala (fear center) stimulates adrenaline. You get an energy rush that rallies you to fight. Blood flows through your hands, your heart pumps faster and you breathe harder (shallow breathing) which increases anxiety. Your pupils dilate, and you sweat. In this hyperadrenalized state, aggression mounts. A multitude of things may happen such as raising your voice, becoming physical, verbally intimidate, etc. In a survival-oriented sense, you want to dominate and retaliate to protect yourself and prevent further exploitation. Anger is such a difficult impulse to control because of its evolutionary value in priming us to defend against danger. Therefore, built up stresses havebeen shown to make us more susceptible to anger. That is why your temper can flare after a long frustrating day at the office. Also, letting anger and resentments smolder and become chronic, cortisol, the stress hormone can contribute to its slow burn. Then you are prone to becoming edgy and quick to snap. Research has shown that anger feeds on itself. The effect is cumulative as each anger episode builds on the momentum of the time before.
For optimal health, it’s imperative you address your anger. It’s not about blowing up every time something flips you out, rather, it’s to develop strategies to express this emotion (it needs to be expressed) or you will develop certain illnesses and diseases such as migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, chronic pain, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, depression (if repressed).
Studies have shown that hostile couples who roll their eyes and insult each other while arguing physically heal more slowly than couples who feel they are “in this together” attitude. Other studies have shown that
So what is the solution to anger? Be able to say what is so in a constructive and compassionate way. Cultivating compassion can both improve your health and biologically reprogram your approach to anger by training you to view this emotion differently. Yes, you can choose to be spiteful and displace your anger onto others, and it may even feel a bit cathartic initially, however, it won’t do any good for your overall health and well-being, immune system, longevity, and relationships.
Stuffing anger won’t either. A quantum leap of consciousness subdues the fight-or-flight response, calms your system and lessens the instinct that only wants to do damage by striking back. You can then try and get your needs met more peacefully.
Let me be clear, you still need to express your feelings, as this is important to get them out, and it allows you to have more empathy for the hurt in yourself and another’s anger.
There is appropriateness to anger yet with compassion. We know now that neuroscience indicates that what makes us individually, in a relationship, or the collective last is compassionate, authentic love.